World War Z

June 30, 2013 at 7:14 pm | Posted in 2013 | Leave a comment
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Aaaarrr-aaarrrr-ggh!   What you hear is the low, painful moan of my zombified brain after watching this movie.  My teeth are snapping.  My eyes are goggled.  My skin pale.  I feel a loss of speech, a murderous rage coming on, as I try to articulate my feelings.  “World War Z” was a brilliant, evocative and truly original book, full of indelible stories from around the world, some of which (The Battle of Yonkers, the crash survivor in the woods, the boy in the Japanese highrise) would have been amazing on screen.  Instead, we have a film that has nothing, nothing, nothing (and I do mean nothing) to do with the book.  It has zombies.  It touches on Korea in passing and bastardizes the account of Jerusalem.  That’s it.  The rest is a made up character (Brad Pitt) and his made up family doing things that are nowhere in the book.  This would not be that bad if the film was any good but, as far as zombie movies go, it is one of the worst.  It is neither scary nor clever nor an insightful allegory.  I will offer it a small spark of credit for some impressive scenes of large numbers of people and/or zombies running very very fast.  Those images are visually arresting but clever mob scenes do not a good movie make.  Where does one begin with a list of the dead?   Believable acting?  Not here.  Brad and Mireille Enos (the tv show, “The Killing”) do their best zombie impressions as they somabulate their way through explosions and death and unimaginable tragedy with barely a raised eyebrow.  A compelling story?  Ha!   I laughed out loud at plot holes a horde of zombies could rush through, like streets that are parking lots when it is convenient and then suddenly wide open when escape is needed, or cell phones that work (apparently no jammed lines during the zombie apocalypse) or people who behave incomprehensibly just because it makes for cool special effects (like letting off a grenade in an airplane).  And and and (I’m really on a roll now) an ending so ridiculous it does not bare deconstructing.  Why even give this movie the name “World War Z,” thus depriving us of ever actually getting that movie in the future.  It is as though some producer somewhere bit and infected that movie and we were left to contend with its mindless, mobile corpse.   Aaarrr-arr-gh.  Whimper.  Fetal position.  I give up.  Take me now.  Just let it be over.

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